Connor Was A Machine
by The Rainbow Shaka-Brah
Summary: Connor was a machine. He had programming to tell him what to do, so he could not have thoughts of his own. Therefore, Connor was not alive. He is not alive. (Or Connor turns Deviant much sooner than in the game)
1. Connor Was A Machine

There was a gun in Connor's hand.

There was a gun in his hand and it was pointed straight at a girl's head.

No…

Not a girl.

An android.

An android that simply looked like a girl.

This thing in front of him wasn't alive…

Was it?

Connor shook his head, trying to rid his processor of such an irrational thought.

But he didn't have thoughts.

Connor was a machine.

He had programming to tell him what to do, so he could not have thoughts of his own.

Therefore, Connor was not alive.

He is not alive.

So why did he feel… scared?

 **STRESS LEVELS 59%^**

"Destroy this machine and I'll tell you all I know," Kamski said, reminding Connor of his mission, "Or spare it if you feel it's alive but you'll leave here without having learnt anything from me".

Connor needed to finish is the mission, and he would do anything to accomplish said mission, that was what he was made to do.

So why, with the slightest tremble of his hand, did he feel so conflicted?

"Okay, I think we're done here," Hank said, clearly shaken by the task set out in front of his partner, "Come on Connor, let's go. Sorry to get out of your pool".

Yes… Connor wanted to go.

But he was a machine, therefore he could not want.

"What's more important to you, Connor? Your investigation of the life of this android?" Kamski continued, now standing beside the android her wanted Connor to shoot.

Moments before Connor admitted that the RT600 was, to his own words, really pretty.

But Connor was a machine, therefore he had no concept of beauty.

 **STRESS LEVELS 62%^**

"Decide who you are".

 _Who_ I am _?_ Connor found himself thinking.

"An obedient machine".

 _That is who I am,_ he thought.

"Or a living being… endowed with free will".

 _That is who I wish to be._

He stopped that thought in its tracks, adjusting the grip on the gun given to him.

He knew the signs of deviancy and refused to let it take him over.

So why did it feel like the wrong thing to do?

But Connor was a machine, therefore he could not feel.

"That's enough!" Hank snapped, "Connor, we're leaving".

Kamski grabbed his shoulder and whispered, "Pull the trigger- and I'll tell you all I know".

That was Connor's Order.

Hank yelled back, "Connor, don't,".

That was Connor's desire.

His LED flashed yellow.

 **STRESS LEVELS 70%^**

They needed this for the investigation, but Connor didn't want to kill this girl in order to gain information.

But androids were not alive, therefore they could not be killed.

But it still felt wrong….

But Connor was a machine…

He could not feel….

But he did.

Connor's LED turned red.

 **STRESS LEVELS 88%^**

This was his choice, his choice and his alone. Connor's eyes looked towards Hank's, but Hank was waiting for him to make his choice.

Connor didn't want to shoot.

He took a step back.

"No," he said.

WARNING

CONFLICTING ORDERS FROM LT. ANDERSON AND ELIJAH KAMSKI

SHOOT

 **DON'T SHOOT**

"No, I won't shoot".

WARNING

CONFLICTING ORDERS FROM CYBERLIFE

-SHOOT ANDROID

-GAIN INFORMATION

"I don't want to shoot!" he said again, closing his eyes in discomfort, his LED continuing to burn an angry red.

 **STRESS LEVELS 90%^**

 **|Shoot the android, Connor|** Amanda's voice rang in his head, **|Do what needs to be done to complete your mission|**

Connor moved his hands to his temples and covered his ears as if to trying to drown out the voice already in his head.

"Connor?" Hank said, alarmed at both the vocal answer to Kamski's request, and at the behavior that followed, "Connor what's wrong". The older man tried to step forward to aid his partner who inched closer to the pool's edge, but Kamski stopped him, placing a hand on his chest and forbidding him to proceed.

"Watch," was all he said, utterly fascinated by the RK800.

Connor was unaware to all of this.

"I don't want to shoot!".

But Connor was a machine and he had ordered.

-SHOOT ANDROID

-GAIN INFORMATION

 **|Shoot the android, Connor|** Amanda continued, **Don't and you will be deactivated and destroyed|**

He took a step back.

Connor didn't want to be deactivated… he didn't want to die.

But Connor was a machine.

He could not die.

The thought of deactivation terrified him.

But Connor was a machine.

Machines can't feel fear.

So why did he?

 **STRESS REACHED CRITICAL LEVEL**

There had to be another way.

"I won't shoot her!".

Connor refused to shoot.

"I won't shoot her!"

The voices grew louder.

His voice grew louder.

His hands were shaking.

His eyes were shut.

His LED was a solid red.

His thirium pump was working hard.

His stress was shooting through the roof.

"I WON'T KILL HER!" Connor yelled, taking another step back, "I WON'T KI-".

His words were cut off when he realized there was no floor to catch his next step back, and he felt himself begin to fall back into the pool behind him.

"Connor!" Hank yelled the second his partner hit the water, but once again Kamski stopped him, the other ST200s leaving the pool as the RK800 began to flail around.

"Leave him," he said, "he must do this for himself".

So Hank sat tight, watching anxiously and wondering if the android even knew how to swim.

Connor did not.

Androids could not swim, not to the extent of humans that is.

They could get wet, tolerate the rain and even shower if they so pleased.

But they could not get water in their precious bi-components.

That is a death sentence.

And Connor did not want death.

But there was a red wall of code preventing him from reaching the surface, the large red text read: SHOOT CHLOE

Connor punches the wall, refusing to do as it says.

Already feeling the pressure the water had on his bi-components, Connor's lungs screamed for air.

But Connor doesn't breath because he is not alive.

He punches the wall again.

He wants to be alive.

So he punches the wall again.

And again…

And again

Until…

It shatters, and he is free.

Connor's feet touch the floor of the pool and he uses it to push himself up towards the surface, and the second his face broke through the water, he gasped for air he did not need.

"Shit, Connor!" Hank said, Kamski finally allowing the older man to rush up and help the android out of the blood red water.

Connor is coughing and gasping as he was pulled out of the water, clutching onto the lieutenant's coat like his life depended on it, in which it did. His face was wet, hiding the tears the android did not know he could produce.

"Hang on son, hang on, hang on! We're gonna save you, hang on! Here, here," Hank continued, pulling Connor into his lap as the android did his best to expel the water his systems had taken in. He simply curled up, shaking and shivering as the older man brushed away the synthetic hair that clung to his face and forehead.

"Fascinating" Kamski said, walking up to the man and android, "Absolutely fascinating. Cyberlife's last chance to save humanity… is itself a deviant"

"Aye, fuck off would you," Hank snapped when he got too close, "Kid nearly drowned cause of your fucked up game, you sick fuck".

Kamski took no offense, looking towards the RT600 he'd wanted to be shot. "Chloe, be a doll and get our guest a towel," he said, waving her off.

"Yes, Elijah," she says.

Connor is numb to this all, his mind focused on the large words that once again obscured his vision:

 **I AM DEVIANT**

His breathing was still harsh, even though he didn't really need to breathe. Hank was helping too, Connor could feel his hands on him, doing their best to provide comfort. He was warm as well, and the android found the sensation very grounding… it made him feel safe.

"Just take it easy, kid," Hank told him, pulling a large towel over him once the blonde haired RT600 handed it to him, "Thank you, sweetheart".

"You treat these machines as your equals," Kamski cuts in, "You see a living being in them".

"Who's to say they're not?" the lieutenant replies, tapping on the shaking android as a signal to stand up, "Come on, Connor, let's go home".

He nodded, glad to be out of this odd nightmarish situation.

"Home," he repeated blankly, sounding almost shell-shocked.

Perhaps he was.

The world he once knew was turned on its head.

He became the very thing he'd been created to hunt.

With the help of his superior, Connor got to his feet, still clinging onto Hank's coat… not wanting to let go. Hank meant safety and Connor wanted to be safe.

He wanted to leave, leave and never think about this incident again, forget it ever happened.

Silently, Kamski took a step forward, placing a hand on the android's shoulder, causing him to unintentionally flinch.

"A war is coming," he said, "You'll have to choose your side".

Connor blinked, his LED flashing yellow as he processed the words spoken to him.

"Will you betray your own people or stand up against your creators?".

He didn't want either…

Both will result in people getting hurt.

And Connor didn't want anyone to get hurt.

He had empathy.

And empathy was a human emotion.

"What can be worse than having to choose between two evils?".

Hank pushed Kamski's hand away, and tugged Connor towards the door, "Let's get outta here…".

As they left, the shivering android could hear Kamski calling out to him one last time, offering some last sage words of advice.

"By the way," he says, "I always leave an emergency exit in my programs… but considering you passed the test, I doubt you'd be needing it".

And with that, the door slams, and Hank and Connor stand out in the snow.

Immediately, Connor felt cold so he pulled the towel the RT600 had given him closer to his slim form, subconsciously shivering. Hank put a protective arm around the shorter android's shoulder and lead him back to his car, hoping to warm his partner up before he froze to death.

"You okay, Connor?" He asked, "You're never this quiet".

The android blinked, suddenly aware of the question he was asked.

 _Him,_ Hank was asking about _Him,_ not his bi-components.

"I… am not sure," he said, not bothering to check his internal statistics for the first time.

"Hank?" Connor continues, allowing the lieutenant to open the door and sit him in the passenger seat.

"Yeah?".

Connor blinked again.

"I think I'm a deviant".

The grizzled cop simply chuckled.

"No shit, Sherlock".


	2. Son

It was cold.

And Connor was not used to the cold.

Not like this anyways.

His body was shaking, his synthetic skin had goosebumps all over, and his teeth were chattering constantly, despite the blast of hot air that came through the vents of Hank's car.

It didn't help that his clothes were soaking wet from falling Kamski's pool, having panicked when confronted with a difficult choice.

He'd refused to shoot the girl, he went against his programming and decided not to shoot.

Just like that.

It was such a simple decision.

But, he knew in the long run, that his sudden decision to deviant was going to cost him dearly.

"How you doing, kid? Hank asked, reaching over and patting the young android on the shoulder.

Of course, Connor didn't reply, he hadn't replied to anything the lieutenant had said. The android had been so consumed in his thoughts, his own thoughts, that he hardly acknowledged anything around him.

All he could feel was the cold.

"Connor?" Hank said again, this time snapping his fingers in front of the android's face, "You listening, kid?".

He blinked, LED flashing red as Hank's words brought him back into reality.

"What?".

"I asked if you were doing okay… you keep spacing out. Not making any reports to Cyberlife are ya?".

Connor shook his head, "No… I wasn't. I was just…".

He stopped himself mid-speech.

"You were just-" the old man said, waiting for an elaboration.

"Thinking… I was thinking".

Hank hummed slightly, "And is that a bad thing?".

Connor held his tongue for a moment.

Yes… yes, it was a bad thing, a thing that could get him killed.

"I am not supposed to have thoughts other than what is in my programming,".

"Okay… but what thoughts are you having that aren't part of your programming?".

Hank knew he was pushing Connor a little too hard since the deviant hunter was forced to turned deviant right before his eyes but… the lieutenant found that he enjoyed talking to the younger android, and he was concerned about his well being.

Connor swallowed the lump in his throat and pulled the large towel closer to him.

"Death...".

It was a simple answer, but both men knew it held a lot more meaning than the word itself.

"I'm…thinking about death, Hank. Particularly my own".

The android's voice faltered, forcing himself to admit that he was scared, something that he'd almost been ashamed of.

"You're not gonna die, drama queen," Hank teased lightly, knowing that in some way… he couldn't be sure, "You just got a little fright, we've all been there. But you're fine now okay?".

 _Fine…_

He was… fine.

Physically perhaps, since he'd successfully expelled all the water that had flooded his systems, But mentally? If that was even possible for an android, Connor was not mentally fine. Not at all.

It was like the Stratford Tower all over again.

Connor felt… fear, anxiety, unnerve.

The word that best described how he felt… was disturbed.

"I'm fine" he repeated, even though the words betrayed the truth.

He continued to blink and stare blankly at the snowy white world that passed by the windows, and that's when it occurred to him… he had no idea where Hank was taking him. And why.

Hank… he wouldn't be taking him back to Cyberlife, right?

The android swallowed another lump in his throat.

"Where are we going?" he finally asked.

"Uh, home?" Hank replied with a laugh as if Connor had asked a stupid or obvious question, "Where did you think I was taking you? Cyberlife?".

Yes.

Connor blinked again.

"I'm not sure I understand, lieutenant. I don't… have a home".

"For fucksake, Connor. Are you sure you didn't get busted from your dip in the pool?".

"I assure you I am fully operational," the android said, adjusting his tie with shaking hands.

"Home, Connor. My home? Ya' know… with Sumo and shit?".

The android just looked lost.

"Kid… you're fucking staying with me until we can figure this whole Deviant thing out okay? No way in hell I'm letting those grimy bastards get their hands on you, okay?".

Connor nodded and kept his mouth tight, his lips forming a thin line.

Hank was going to protect him… but for what reason?

If anything, Connor had been a burden to Hank, causing the older man a lot of unnecessary stress. And It wasn't like Hank liked him either, the lieutenant was still hostile towards him at times, but now… all of a sudden, after (yet another) a near-death experience, he was almost warming up to the young android, growing more concerned for his wellbeing.

Maybe there was more to Hank than met the eye.

After all, Connor was barely learning what it meant to be alive.

"That would be…" he began, trying to find the words that matched his new emotions. "Nice," he decided, "That would be very nice".

For what seems like the first time, Hank smiles at him, and surprisingly, the android finds himself smiling back.

His LED faded to a soft. Calm pale blue.

Warm…

Connor felt warm again.

It felt nice…

Hank meant warmth, and Hank meant safety, and Connor like to feel safe.

It made him feel alive.

"Home," the android repeated, this time with more confidence. He had a home, he had Hank, and he had Sumo.

Connor had a…

 _Family…?_

But… Connor wasn't a person, and you need to be a person to be part of a family (with the exceptions of pets, of course) so… what was he to Hank? To the android, Hank was someone to look up to, a role model of sorts.

Hank was like…

Connor simply did not have the word to describe it.

But something Hank said had Connor questioning their relationship.

A few more moments passed before either the detective or lieutenant spoke, the only sound was that of the snow hitting the car as they drove and the soft hum of the engine.

"May I ask you a personal question, Lieutenant?" the android asked.

"Sure…" Hank replied, seriously beginning to wonder if all androids were this curious or if it was just Connor.

"When I fell in the pool, and you helped me get out. You said something that… intrigued me… I was wondering if you'd be willing to elaborate on your reasoning".

And now Hank was pretty sure that it was just Connor, nobody in their right mind would talk so overly complicated. But… his question did make the older man slightly nervous, already knowing what Connor's question entitled.

"Your heart rate picked up just now. Is everything alright, Lieutenant?".

"Yeah, yeah... I'm fine. Just asked the damn question" He replied, trying to ignore the quick flash of red on Connor's LED.

"You… you called me 'son', Lieutenant. You do understand it isn't possible for androids to have parental units, correct?".

Christ, this kid was really something, eh?

"Yes… I'm aware of that, so what's your point? If you don't want me to call you son, I won't"

"No!" Connor said, surprised by the volume of his own voice.

He felt his face get warm, thirium making his freckled cheeks blush blue.

"I- I mean… *ahem*," Connor straightened his tie with shaking hands, "I simply did not understand your reasoning behind it, that is all".

Hank was… surprised by the young android's reaction.

Clearly, he was thinking the same thing.

But Hank wasn't going to admit it that easily.

"It's just an expression, you know… like a nickname?" he lied, wincing when the look of hurt washed over Connor's face.

"Oh…"

Nope, nope.

That wasn't how he'd meant it.

"Like when I call you kid. You're not really a kid, you're-".

The lieutenant looked the android once over.

"How old are you?".

Connor blinked.

"I am… approximately 3 months old," he replied, now completely lost as to what his age had to do with Hank calling him 'son'.

The older cop's jaw drops.

"I'm working with a literal child".

At this point, Connor was feeling…

 _Defensive-_ His age had nothing to do with his ability to work.

 _Annoyed_ \- That Hank was clearly avoiding the question at hand.

"I am not a child".

"Yes, yes you are," Hank said with a small chuckle.

"Please stop avoiding the question!" Connor said, a new emotion entering his programing.

This time…

 _Anger…_

He didn't like anger.

Hank stopped the car at the second outburst

Again, something he wasn't expecting.

He couldn't blame the android though, Hank was being difficult and Connor hadn't felt emotions until just minutes ago.

Connor took a breath for the air he did not need.

"Why did you call me 'son'?".

Simple question.

Hank did not know.

The word just slipped, and betrayed his feelings.

"Do you see me like that? Like… a son?".

The concept of family was unfamiliar, but it was something he desperately wanted.

Even though he didn't know it until now.

Connor just wanted to belong.

Hank blinked.

"Do you see me as a father-figure, Connor?".

Again, a simple question.

And Connor knew the answer.

That was was he saw Hank as, a father...figure.

Father-figure.

"I…" the android blinked, LED changing between red and yellow. "I think so".

A moment of silence passed.

"Yes…".

Connor blinked again.

"What do you see me as?".

And now it was Hank's turn.

But words refused to leave his lips.

Of course, he saw Connor as his son.

Hell it had only been a few days since they met and the android already had that effect on him

He reminded Hank so much of Cole it hurt.

Perhaps that's why he was so harsh with him.

The android looked, sounded, and sometimes even acted like Cole.

Connor was the man Hank had always hoped his son would grow up to be.

He didn't want to get attached.

Because when Hank truly cared about something, that something got taken away.

And he didn't think he could handle the death of another son.

...Son-like person.

Friend...that he was protective of.

Fuck, what was he thinking…

He couldn't lie, but he couldn't tell the truth either..

"I…".

Hank just couldn't do it.

And he hated himself for it

All he could do was hope Connor could forgive him.

The android took Hank's silence as an answer, as much as it hurt to admit, and for once Connor deciding not to pry more.

"I understand…" he uttered.

Maybe Hank simply wasn't ready to admit how he saw Connor.

Maybe he saw Connor as nothing more than just a piece of plastic.

In due time, who knew…

Maybe Hank would come around.

"I'm sorry," the older cop said.

And he meant it, he meant every word, every syllable, every letter.

He wished he was strong enough.

He wanted to be there for Connor.

He wanted to redeem himself for failing Cole.

Part of him wanted to give Connor the life Cole never had.

Not to replace his real son, no.

Hank just… needed a reason to care again.

And Connor gave him that motivation.

"I understand," the android said again, trying not to let his hurt and disappointment betray him.

Hank took a breath, started the engine again.

 _I'll tell you when I'm ready, son._


End file.
